So annoyed that Onsugar doesn't allow me to upload images with their server, so I'm officially moving!!!

ONESHOTDOWNX.TUMBLR.COM

Can only post this picture now because I'm already hosting it on Tumblr. Pfffft.

I don't know if it's induced by hormonal changes (it may very well be a cyclical girl thing...), but I'm just feeling so... *!!!!!!*

School's going to start again, and with the guys being stuck in army for the next 1.5 years at least, and the girls going to absolutely different schools/faculties, it's kind of like P6 all over again. The uncertainty of our friendships, the anxiety and fear of friends disappearing, it's all so overwhelming. I don't know if I'm the only one feeling it, because I know we all have many groups of good friends whom we've made over the years since we've graduated from P6, and I guess some of us don't put this group of friends as high on our priority list as I do. I'm totally fine with planning gatherings, because I know we always have fun even with just a simple dinner, but I don't like how it has become so much of my responsibility over the years. I know you guys are busy, but I have things to do too! I actually have to make time to plan okay. Send mass-texts, check my texts, remind people, make reservations, prompt people somemore because you guys are so busy you forget to reply sometimes. It's so worrying!!!!!! If I get too busy with my studies to coordinate everyone's attendance and go buy presents for everyone's birthdays when school starts, is nobody going to do it? If I don't have the time to go out for months, are you guys not going to meet up without me? I don't know if you guys show up because you have nothing else better to do, because you're just giving me "face", or because you truly want to make an effort to keep this bunch of awesome friends. I don't know how anybody else feels about meeting up because I've never dared to ask, but I, for one, go through the tiresome process of planning (I admit it's fulfilling when you guys have fun, but it's tiresome nonetheless) only because I cannot bear to let this special and precious group of friends disintegrate and become mere acquaintances. More than friends actually. We've watched one another do utterly stupid things, laugh, cry, get pissed off, get our hearts broken. We grew up together, we're like family. So can we please all make time despite our busy schedules? And I think I might have lost the whole point of what I had wanted to say at first, or if I had a point to make in the first place, but I feel better venting it all out anyway.

So many things will change once school starts, and one other thing that's equally worrying is if I/we will still feel the way I/we feel now. So many whatifs that my brain is going to explode and my heart is writhing in agony. Feelings fade, feelings change, all these happen all the time to people we know. So why should it not happen to me too? Not going to deny anything now, I AM SUPER SCARED. I remember Fiona telling me that changes are not necessarily bad, but it's so difficult to let go of it all, embrace whatever changes that are to come, and hold on to this faith that everything will turn out fine.

I have to say, though, this song came at the perfect time. Time to get out of self-pitying mode, it's pathetic.

I don't know why Onsugar doesn't allow me to upload pictures (maybe I exceeded the bandwidth but that's hightly unlikely), so I can't post photos we took on Saturday while celebrating my friends' birthdays. But it was really really fun! :D

So anyways, since I can't upload the photos, I'm going to upload a video I took post-Youth today! :) Ultra-talented Joie singing Katy Perry's "Thinking of You" (one of my all-time favourites) and ultra-talented Josh playing the keyboard with his wonderful improvisation. ("Josh is very well-trained in keyboard, all the girls want to be his girlfriend after watching him play." HAHAHA.)

It's my first time using my iPhone to take a video, and I got the orientation wrong :( Nevertheless, enjoy! :D And oh, subscribe to Joie's Youtube channel, she does awesome covers. Seriously. (Y)(Y)(Y)